I need a change. I have never been so depressed as I have been the past few weeks. I am so unloved, unappreciated, disrespected and devalued at my profession. If I were gone tomorrow I would be forgotten.
I have been solicited to explore the opportunities at Irvine, Anaheim and El Monte. There is also a private sector option in the background. Maybe leaving my profession for a passion. We will see what God's plans are for that transition. Something will change.
We moved into our new home and have lived here for a week. After Charlie's first day of Jr. High she had her first soccer practice. During conditioning she broke her forearm in two places. She had surgery three days later and is now recovering. No soccer this season for the Bear. Change is on the horizon. New fitness and lifestyle change for the family is approaching.
In the last 6 weeks I have had an unexplained weight loss of over 30 pounds. My B.S. is running between 400-600mg/dL. That is not good. Guess I should probably be hospitalized and I may be in Diabetic KetoAcidosis. I don't have time to spend 3 days in the hospital for treatment. Got to focus on Charlie and work. Do not have time for this. Ryan is worried I am going to die. I doubt that will happen. I mean I know I will die, but not soon. We all die. I hate that she is stressed because of it. We need only to worry about Charlie right now. No time to worry about me.
New house, wounded child, new school year, life threatening disease, new career opportunities will all be a change. Change is good they say. It has been said that we change when the pain of staying the same hurts more than the pain of making the change.
I don't know what God has planned for me. But I DO know that my life is about to change dramatically. I do feel a more terminal side of life these days. Probably the first time I felt that life is coming to an e d. Doc says I probably only live to be 60. That seems like right around the corner. Maybe medical technology will have great advances by then. God is good, all the time. I am not afraid. Juat concerned that I dot leave my family struggling.
Change...
