Alex Gomez

I went today to a memorial of Alex Gomez.  A man who taught me so much, without teaching me a thing.  Sometimes we only grasp this realization once we sit to ponder and reflect.  Alex Gomez was the father of two of my friends and brothers Keith and Mark.  He was a Mexican immigrant, a Vietnam Veteran, a Sergeant at the LAPD, a father, husband, friend, mentor director and servant. 

He had an innate ability to bring calm to every situation.  He would constantly remind us to "calm down, relax and do the right thing.  When you do the right thing you have nothing to worry about."  He never took me under his wing or mentored me in any fashion.  I don't recall a single time where he directly gave me advice or direction yet his words and voice I hear often.  I learned so much from the man through observation and interaction.  He cared about others so much and had an amazing amount of compassion for others especially children and the poor.  He was so thankful for everything he had been given and the life he had developed.  I mean a Mexican immigrant who became one of the most respected Sergeants in the LAPD.  Well known at Hollenbeck and Newton Divisions. 

I gleaned from him that compassion for others was okay to display even in my line of work.  He cared abut people.  Which I do too.  That empathy can sometimes be seen as weakness by peers.  I know it is not my weakness but their own.  Yet perceptions still are strong.  Alex was a servant.  He gave all of the accolades to others, superiors, subordinates never himself.  Humility was his strong suite. 

As we remembered him today my eyes could not stop flowing with tears.  As I write this, they well up again.  Amazing how someone can touch so many lives.  Intriguing how my life has been touched by him as well.  I gained valuable character traits from Alex and will forever pass them on to my kin and others.  It was one of the first funeral/memorials that I went to where everything that was said was true and no lies needed to be told.  He will be missed and truly, truly never forgotten.  His words ring in all of our ears.

As I shared time with my friends who grieved, I was asked for guidance and introduction to the Lord.  Both of the men at separate times reached out to me for guidance and introduction to God.  At first I was taken aback.  We have not shared in each others lives for about a decade.  How would they know where my journey is with Jesus?  But each of them knew instinctively to ask and comfortably know that I would be with them in their journey.  I was humbled and astonished by God's timing.  He knows all.  He used me and my experiences with Andy, My father, my journey with His son Jesus, to be a witness to Mark and Keith.  I am honored for that.

Bobby Hill, a childhood hero, joined us as well.  And we too discussed our relationship with Jesus and how our lives have evolved with Him by our side.  It was an incredibly emotional day.  A even more humbling day.  A day where I mourned, I cried, I laughed at the memories of Alex and his influence in my life.  I was honored to cross his path in this life.  But as I age, I know, nothing happens without cause or reason.  God is all knowing.  Thank you Alex for all you did here on earth for the multitudes.  God Bless you.

Too many Dead Bodies

When one dies, their soul, their being, whatever you beleive is IN them leaves the body.  It is readily appearant when one looks at a dead body.  "It's not them." is a frequent statement made and I would agree.  A nineteen year old girl hung herself a few days ago.  She came from what seemed to be a good family that was loving and caring.  Of course nothing is as what it appears.  She battled with her sexuality and her families disapproval of it.  In the end, she resorted to hanging herself in her closet...

Pushing on this girls chest trying to revive her, I knew she was gone.  She was gone before I got there.  But she was 19 and I had to try.  If nothing else to gve the family some sense that everything that could be done would be done.  It was the second dead body that I had intimately interacted with in less that four days...

A friend of mine was killed riding his bicycle earlier int he week.  I knew better than to see the body.  A year or so ago, I decided that if I didn't HAVE to see the body, I wouldn't.  For fear that my limit was being met with the dead body catalog in my head.  But in support of another friend who wanted to see the body, I went ahead and saw him.  It is always the last image in your mind of that person.  What a dummy I am.  I have seen dead bodies before.  I think the first one was when I was seven years old.  Seeing my dad in his casket at an early age kinda made me immune to death and dead bodies early in life.  But I think maybe that might be having a cummulative effect on me.  I don't know...

I do know that for some reason I don't feel good these days.  But I can't place it.  I'm not depressed.  I'm not irritable.  But I'm off?  Can't articulate it but I know something bothered me with the girl.  19 years old?  Man what could be that wrong?  So you like girls? So your family is not happy and maybe God will not approve and calls it a sin.  My word!  Each of us sin daily and God forgives us.  It's called grace.  Lord knows I don't deserve it.  But HE gives it to all of us!  I don't know if God can or does forgive suicide.  I have never been very tolerant of suicide or the attempt there of.  I believe it is a very selfish act.  You don't hurt yourself.  You hurt all of those around you and who's lives you have impacted.  It is among the most selfish of all acts in my opinion.  Maybe I'm just getting old and realizing that life is much more important than what I realized it was when I was younger? 

I know when I was pumping on her chest, training just takes over.  Calm, cool, coolected.  I was back into medic mode.  I knew I was doing it all right.  But she was gone.  It was futile.  Maybe I'm realizing my own humanity.  Acknowledging that no matter how much training, how fast I get there, how hard I work, I can't always make an impact or a difference.  That's hard to accept.  If that's true, why am I here???  Why give effort?  But when I don't give effort I am not complete.  It is not in my DNA to sit and watch and observe.  God gave me a purpose even if I am still searching for what that is.  Of all the dead bodies (with the exception of Andy) why does this one bother me?  It's not that bad really.  It just sits weird with me... Maybe it's just the fact that it happened in such close proximity to Parki's death. 

Maybe I just needed to get it off of my chest and talk.  I think I'm bothered by Parki and this just added to it.  Shit the day after Parki died another colleague lost his 4 y/o daughter to cancer!  Maybe it's ust cummulative for the week?!?  That's probably it.  Thanks I feel better now.      

Parki

I was saddened by the news today that Duane Parkison had been killed in a vehicle accident.  He was riding his bicycle and was struck by a car.  Parki was an amazing man.  He was always smiling no matter where/when I saw him.  He had an aire of happiness and positivity that exuded from his person. 

I called a friend of mine whom I knew was close with Parki to see if he had gotten the news.  My friend was sobbing on the other end of the line.  I knew he had heard.  I met with my friend and several others who had gathered at the workplace.  We caravaned down to the hospital to pay our respects.  His body was guarded by a sentry who had not left his side.  What an amazing honor this man did as a service to the profession for a man he did not know.  The Irvine Police Department showed an amazing amount of character in their actions with Parki and the department.  A professional organization I hope each one of my friends can/will live up to.  After seeing the mangled body and saying goodbye.  We escorted him to the Coroner's office where he will remain pending his travels to his final resting spot.  We paid him honor and respect while standing at attention and giving a salute.  But we were only repaying a small fraction of the love and respect he had shown each of us day in and day out. 

After leaving his body we travelled to his home to meet and console his family.  Babies screams, mother's cries. a widows tears are all sounds and images that will take a while to vanish.  His 4 year was loud and active and unknowing of what had occurred.  His 12 and 15 year olds were somewhat stoic and very quiet.  We then went to the scene...he crashed and was struck by a passing motorist.  A motorist who was probably goin to soccer pracice to pick up/drop off some of her children.  As the investigation will reveal later, she turned to her children in her back seat who were in need of attention/discipline.  In the brief second she turned, Parki had fallen off of his bike into the street and the motorist ran him over without even realizing at first.  That poor lady.  What a horrific experience. 

We went to the scene.  As luck would have it the accident occurred about 100feet from the fire station.  We spoke to the FF's who said they were dispatched to a call one minute prior tot he accident.  They did not respond to the accident.

All of my respect goes out to the OCFA's 47's for offering their station house to us, Santa Ana PD for provided unsolicited escort/traffic control, and the Irvine PD who were nothing short of amazing in every respect.  These guys set teh bar on honor and etiquette.

An unfortunate series of events that led up tot he final disposition.  In the end we reflect on our lives, the way we treat out spouses, the way we treat our children.  But Parki is resting now in Heaven.        

Mother's Day 2011

I celebrated my 8 year Anniversary with my wife this weekend.  It's a lil early, but timing wise it worked out for us to go away this weekend as opposed to the actual day.  I love re-uniting this time of year with her.  We always come back to know each other more intimately and open up a dialogue that we can never seem to find at home.  We went on a ride to support Fallen Officers in observance of Fallen Officer's Memorial Week.  

We came home this morning which was Mother's Day.  I am so enamored by whom my wife has become in the short time we have been married.  I have always respected her and supported her professionally.  For the last few months she has been home on a knee injury.  Instead of letting it dibilitate her, she has taken on a lead role in the raising of our children and running our household.  An amazing change for what the first 5 years of marraige brought.  

As I reflected on how honored I am to have her in my life and the lives of my children, I see the great things God is doing ithrough us, in our children's lives. Our children know and respect God.  The have open, giving hearts for others in need or who have less than them.  They have a desire to serve those in need.  They both have an array of friends and open themselves to kids who seem to need a friend.  I am very blessed and humbled by their growth.

I called my mom to wish her a happy Mother's Day.  She was surprised I called so early in the morning because she knew I was out of town with my bride.  Plus I have probably neglected her recognition over the years and she has learned not to expect too much for me.  But it was short and direct as our communication normally is unless there is a specific topic that is open for discussion.

But as I take a moment to write a personnal note on the card I was about to put in the mail (two days late on a Sunday), I began to write to her and thank her for the developing the character I have today.  I had many positive influences in my childhood.  My older brother was a strong influence, my mother, and a Christian organization called the YMCA. 

Though as a child I didn't really see it as a Christian organization until later.  My mother would send me to YMCA summer camp every year.  In those seven days at camp every summer, in the San Bernardino National Forest, I would always come to know God and come back home promising to be a better boy and grow as a person.  As I YMCA camper, I became a Ragger.  A ragger took on certain Christian values and ethics with each rag he/she was given.  I hold a gold rag.  I remember the gold rag because it is a symbol of benevolence.  I am sure I still hold this rag partly because I never went back to YMCA camp after I turned 18 and partly because I am still working on the character trait itself.  In my core I strive to help others and to give to others before my self.  And largely I do just that.  But there is a small part of me that still has selfish motives and I act for myself at times than I'd like to acknowledge. 

As I grow in the word of the Lord, I realize that there is still much growth to be had.  Or maybe I will find a better understanding of His grace.  A concept I still find difficult to grasp.  I find it so hard to understand why He would forgive me after I constantly sin and fail over and over again.  But He does, as I was reminded in small group this week.       

So back to mom.  She shaped my character in so many ways I could never re-pay her enough.  She taught me to respect a person for who they were not by the color of their skin, or their religion or disability.  I grew to become a servant of the weak and innocent even at a young age.  She enculturated me to many arts and culture that many lower socio-economic kids arent exposed to.  I am eternally grateful to her for that. 

Here's what I learned at camp every year mom.  After all of these years, I still practice these core values.  Because you reinforced them throughout the year in my life between camp sessions by your actions and guidance.  Thank you mom.  I love you. Happy Mother's Day!!!

"I would be true, for there are those who trust me.
I would be pure, for there are those who care.
I would be strong for there is much to suffer.
I would be brave for there is much to dare.
I would be friend to all, the foe, the friendless
I would be giving and forget the gift.
I would be humble, for I know my weakness.
I would look up, and laugh, and love, and lift."

-YMCA Ragger's Creed

Valentine's Day

I am so fortunate to be sharing my 10th Valentine's day with my bride.  The last decade has brought us through so many experiences.  From life/death experiences in our professional lives to the burial and the loss of friends in our private lives, to the birth of our children.  As usual we can not celebrate the day on the actual date everyone else celebrates due to shift work and schedules.  But I always say "Valentine's Day (and Christmas) is 365 days a year."  I don't need one day to show/express how much I love you.  It usually helps since our schedules are so erratic. Hahaha 

I am so blessed to have her in my life.  She is nothing less than a gift from God to change me and help me grow and develop in His word.  Te amo principeta!!!

My first elected position since grade school

Last Wednesday, I was elected to serve as a board member on the Fontana Federal Credit Union.  It was an honor to be elected.  I am truly looking forward to the new position.  I am excited about working with the people on the board and the people we serve. 

After meeting with a couple of friends, I know God has surrounded me with positive influences to guide my decisions in this position.  I am confident God has put me into the positions where I am to serve.