Just watched Valentine's Day. It's a chick flick from like 2010. I like Rom-Coms. I'm a romantic. I like romance. I love the joy romance brings to a partner. I love the joy I feel pleasing others. I love intimacy. I love the spontaneity. I love the rush. I love being able to surprise them with a token of love and the reward when it is reciprocated. I love seduction. I love intellectual conversation. I find it stimulating. I love the mind. I love a good mind fuck. I guess my mind is always searching for the next way to romance, seduce, pleasure, stimulate and love...
I confess all of this because I guess I'm conflicted. When my partner does not like romance, intimacy or seduction (giving or receiving) I feel neglected. Neglected in my own pleasure, but more neglected in my desire to pleasure another.
My conflict resides in my Faith in Jesus. Am I being selfish in my personal pleasure and not focused enough of God's will for me? Am I not focused enough on the absolute Joy I can and will receive from Jesus? Or do I just want that physical, mental satisfaction from a human being?
God clearly wants me to be with my partner who absolutely has a polar opposite perspective on any romantic/intimacy scale. It has been said, "opposites attract.". When does the attraction begin? IDK.
