Positional Leadership

I received a call from the boss yesterday who told me I am getting promoted.  It was welcomed news after a long wait due to the economy and so forth.  Although I received a lot of well-wishes and support from those I love, I was taken aback for a moment how truely life changing this promotion is.  You see, I didn't think much would change.  I already act in the same position as an informal leader.  The position to me would simply be a change in formality.  But I received two notifications from two people within the organization whom I am acquaintences with.  We are not close, but we are not estranged.  If either of them asked me for something I would do whatever they needed without hesitation. 

The first one sent me a message and told me how much I had hurt him in the past on a previous assignment we worked together, where I had made him feel less than accepted.  Shame on me.  We conversed back and forth I apologized with all the sincerity I could.  You see, I had no idea this feeling of antimosity was ever there between us.  I had no idea, I had evoked this type of response or humiliation on one of my partners.  I felt about as small as a mouse.  What kind of partner, colleague, friend, what kind of leader makes his fellow man feel this way?  Not me.  Or so I thought.  Man, my apologies could not ever right the wrong I had done to him.  Whether I was aware of the wrong or not.  It still occurred in his view. 

He went on to say that he respects me and loves and knows I will do well in my new position.  He has forgiven me.  But I know he will or maybe can never forget.  Wow what a lesson in leadership, Day One.  I realized that I had more impact on people than I truely recognized. My WORDS meant something to somebody.  Maybe to more people than I was aware.  Ughhh!!!  Wow talk about wanting to take back everything I have ever said to anybody, anytime...And that's not really me.  I tend to speak my mind openly and at times, carelessly. 

This morning, I checked an email I had received yesterday from another collegue.  This one praises me and my faith.  He says to me "I just wanted to say THANK YOU for keeping it true in your faith. Everyday I read your post and the scripture you post on Facebook. Your posts helps me with the daily issues I deal with in myself, my family and with my friends."   

WOW!!! Talk about being taken aback.  You see, as I struggle in my own walk with Christ, I read the Bible a lot, listen to sermons/pastors on the radio, enjoy Christian music and read daily passages in the Bible on my phone.  I sometimes post the passages that move me onto my FB page.  This friend told me that as he struggles with his walk, our peers praise him for actions he knows in his heart are far from God.  This job pulls us so far away from God and Jesus.  I was moved that he felt comfortable enough to share his testimony with me. 

The words that resonate so deep in my core is when he said "Congratulations on your promotion and thank you for your outspoken devotion to God because people like me are watching and listening."

I believe God speaks to us in many ways.  He speaks to us often.  He speaks to us daily.  We are not always listening.  From a secular view, both of these interactions mean so much to me.  I realize that this formal position I am being given is a great responsibility.  Way more than I first believed.  Definately one I respect and appreciate more. 

From a Godly view, I realize now more than ever that my words and actions are to be in Honor of God's Will.  Because not only are people watching me, but they are listening too.  God is watching.  He is listening.  He is correcting me and developing me to be the man HE wants me to be.  What an awesome transformation! 

Serving God is sometimes difficult in our roles on this earth.  God seemed to make it crystal clear to me today through these two men.  Man I work for an awesome God. 

I am humbled by my positional leadership and hope to develop into a leader others will respect and follow.  I am humbled by my family.  My wife is an amazing woman.  We have travelled so far together in the last 10 years.  She is the most loyal person I know.  I do not deserve her.  I know that it is only through God's will that I have my life here on earth to share with her.  So we will see.  I pray for HIS guidance, compassion, courage, and strength as I move into this next chapter...

As far as the two gentlemen above, I don't think they will ever know or appreciate the difference they made in me today.  I thank them from the bottomof my heart for their openess to communicate their words.  I know the day will come when I can truly pay my thanks to them.    

Five Year Plan

It is election time in our country.  I, like many other citizens are tired of the corruption that has plagued our nations politics.  Tired of incumbants who do nothing for the people they serve, only serving themselves to have another term.  Our country's government was designed to have people in office who "represent" their community.  Hence the term representative.  It seems like our system is failing.  It is scary to think our the future of our country. 

The thought of running for office has always been in the backof my mind.  In the current political climate it surfaces even more.  Ryan has told me that she absolutely supports me in this endeavor.  She said to me "I can see your name on one of those signs."  Referring to the campaign signs posted all over town.  I'm not sure if she realizes the impact that has on me.  One of the most supportive statements she has made.  So WE come up with a five year plan.  In the next five years or so I am thinking of running for Rancho City council.  Maybe SB Co Board of supervisors one day.  With either position I have desire to leave my family for Sacramento or DC.  I believe the phrase "All politics is local." is very true.  One must appeal to, listen to, and fight for the local citizens concerns.  Our country is in dire need of true leadership.  The sheep have gone astray and there are no sheepdogs to guide them back in order.  That is probably because many of the sheepdogs have forgotten their responsibilty to care for the sheep and are thinking only about themselves and how great a sheepdog they can become.  They ahve forgot the principle of being a sheepdog.  It's not about how great you can be.  It's about protecting the sheep and developing the sheep to become the greatest sheep THEY can become.  Our sheepdogs who have lost sight of that.  The five year plan is now in progress. 

Three Year Plan

So Ryan and I actually got to spend some husband/wife time the other day.  What a blessing.  We went to breakfast when the kids were in school on Monday because she didn't have to work that night.  She told me she is ready to stay home with the kids.  WOW!  I want to be sure she is DONE because that is a big decision she is making for the family.  Mainly because she is giving up her career to be a mom.  A full-time job in and of itself.  But she sounds pretty sure.  It's not the first time she has brought this up.  So we came up with a three year plan.

In three years, absent any success with the business we should be debt free.  So being debt free, we can live on one salary.  Keeping in mind that we don't go further into debt in the process.  I am sure with a little discipline and lot of saying "No" to each other and the children we can do it, no problem.  I am excited about it.  I think it will be good for our family.  Ryan and I won't have to juggle two schedules just to get a night off together. Let alone schedule a vacation or something. 

So begins the struggle.  Each night she goes to work I wish she could stay home.  Each night I go to work she pleads with me to stay home.  so the struggle begins.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  But we are not there yet.  But without struggle there is no reward. 

A tough reminder. We are all not that different.

I was called to the ER today to quell a riotous/emotional family who was causing a disturbance at the hospital.  Their 18 month old daughter was run over in the driveway of their home by the babies aunt.  As I stood there with my partners, supervisors and friends, I knew that I probably shouldn't be there. 

31 years ago, I lost my baby brother David the same way.  My father, God rest his soul, was moving his tow truck into the driveway.  My brother, who was 17 months old walked outside to be with my dad.  My father did not see him and ran David over in the driveway.  As he backed up, he crushed David's skull, I am sure killing him instantly. 

This family is a lower socio-economic family who lives in the county area.  The father and other relatives may have had a little criminal element on their side as well as is common in familes who struggle in our daily walk.  I couldn't help but reflect that our lives are not that different.  I am sure when my baby brother died, my family showed the same qualities.  My father was a tow truck driver.  My mom a social worker for the county.  My dad may have had a criminal element to him as well. Not to mention some of the friends that would have come to the hospital in support. 

I am not moved very often at work as I have seen and lived my share of tragedy.  But tonights events kinda took me back.  Not sure if it was the Coroner Investigator's description to the parents before they saw their baby for the last time that her head was "mis-shapened."  Or the personnal connection I had in the same experience.  Or the Father connection I had in the thought of losing one of my children.  For that brief moment however slight as I felt my eyes well up with tears, I immediaely brought back my professional face of strength and support for the grieving family.  It was not my time to grieve.  It was theirs.  I was thankful to have my frined Jim there.  I am thankful for some reason I knew better than to look inside the room at the toddler.  The Holy Spirit must have stirred inside of me.  I just knew if I saw the baby, I may not respond appropriately. 

The family was calm as they said their goodbyes.  The Coroner's transport team carried her lifeless body wrapped in a white linen sheet out to their van.  Death has been something I am very comfortable and familiar with since I was 3 years old.  As I age, I believe I may be softening up.  The loss of a child is hard on everyone involved.  But I am home safe tonight after a long shift.  I will go to bed but not before I kiss each of my children and thank God for each moment I have with them.       

Tiny Blessings

My life is blessed with so many things.  A healthy, growing family that I try so dearly to stop and watch grow each day.  My mom is in overall generally good health, although she lives a fair distance away.  My brother just got back from a corporate fishing trip in Alaska.  He has always been my inspiration and my guide in life on how to become a man of character.  Although we each have our faults as no man is perfect, he is a great, great man.  I believe my benevolence comes largely from him.  I don't know if he appreciates how great he is.  This is a man who finished High School, touched a little in college then found his calling in sales.  He was a tenacious salesman.  He worked himself all the way up the corporate ladder and now sits in a Regional Manager/Vice President position making well over six figures a year.  Not bad for a college grad. 

I love my wife and appreciate her more and more each day.  What used to rub me a lil wrong now has become a huge gift and display of her love for me.  She is not the perfect woman for me.  Not the one imagined or desired or thought I would end up with.  But she makes me grow.  She challenges my patience, my understanding, my love and communication.  She challenges everything.  Better said she challenges me in everything.  I know God has put her in my life to help my grow into the man He wants me to be.  I know I often fall short of that as well.  But as I mature, whatever that means, I see how she has helped me evolve.  She is not the most caring, nurturing, or supportive woman I have ever known.  But maybe that's what I need.  To do God's will.  I don't kow the answers.  But I know He wants more out of me.  And she's not holding me back from that,as i once thought.  She is just developing me in the long run to make it happen.  Wow!!!  God is amazing.  And I am humbled. 

Mattie

  

New Schedules new opportunities

First Day

I wonder how this blog thing works or who will or can read it... I figure I'll just type what my over-active brain decides to type and correct my mistakes as I go. 

I'm getting my paramedic license back.  I am absolutely ecstatic about that.  I've been expired for nine years because I changed career paths and let my license expire.  I regret that.  I truly miss being a medic.  I love what I do now.  But I don't think I was ever happier than when I was a medic.  It was a great time in my life.  I didn't make a lot of money at it, but the rewards were ten fold.  I make more money now but the satisfaction isn't quite the same as those days.  Maybe I was younger and more naive than I am now.  But I am really excited about getting it back. 

I want to continue on to get my law degree and MBA but the boss says "one thing at a time."  She's probably right.  I tend to take on a lot.  Cause I can, doesn't always mean I should.  I should listen to her a lot more than I do.  She slows me down which is probably a good thing but tends to frusterate me at times.  I usually feel like she's not supporting me.  But then I reflect and realize that God is probably speaking through her slowing me down to follow HIS pace and not set my own.  One day I will accomplish everything I am placed here on earth to do.  Hopefully my desire is in-line with HIS goals for me to do...

I love my God.  I love my Country.  I love my wife, kids and family.  "My friends are my family."