Many of life's journeys have a fork in the road. Sometimes the fork is easy, right/wrong, left/right, up or down. Sometimes the fork has four prongs.
One path is to stay the course and trust or wonder if this is God's plan. Is it His plan to endue continuous struggle, contempt, discord and strife? Maybe. Maybe, one day it will all be for His glory.
The second prong takes the path of litigation. This path is not an intrinsic one at all. It does not rest easy with my soul. It is not who I am. The reward might be great financially, but money isn't everything. In fact, it isn't much. Men are only as good as their word and their reputation. Am I worried about what they'll think of me? Or do I value what The Creator thinks more?
It seems like two choices but it is really two paths with two consequences. I search my soul for motives. I struggle daily and nightly. Is it MY will or HIS? What an I afraid of? Walking out in Faith? I pray that He gives me a sign. And He sends me three. Or am I interpreting them to fit MY will? For every sign there is doubt. For every doubt there is angst.
I fall on prayer and petition to God to direct my walk. I confide in other Christian men for guidance and prayer. Their prayer and guidance is wise and steadfast. Be Still and wait on God... A common theme it seems. I reflect and realize the two voices I hear loudest to pursue litigation are not Godly men. But are men of this world. So I walk out the door feeling God has spoken thru Jesus Guys and I will be still.
Within two hours of being at work, I am reminded by a Detective who says "I don't think anybody here likes you Matt." This is a man known for his directness and honesty. He's right. This reinforces my drive to litigate. It reminds me that may be the main be my only option to sustain my family. But it's not what I want.
Does God want me to follow this path for the greater good? Or am I thinking of me and being selfish to my needs and needs of my family? I wish the fork had two paths and the clarity of God's will was a clear as crystal. I know that time is on my side. I am in no rush. In fact, I wish and hope and pray I never have to make that decision. I pray the decision IF made is clearly following God's will.
If rewarded, my prayer is that it will all be for God's glory. That my life would have purpose to grow the Kingdom of God.
Every path I have taken at this place of employment has been met with wall after wall after wall. I wonder if I do choose another path if God will say to me one day "What took you so long?"
