10 Years

6 months ago my doctor told me I'd be lucky to live to be 62 years old.  One month ago he told me at the rate my body is deteriorating I will be lucky to live 10 more years.  Wow.  Dead before I am 48 years old.  If he is right I will be able to see my kids graduate High School and hopefully begin college.  But I will not see either of them walk down the aisle.

So what do you do when the doctor gives you 10 years to live?  First you deny.  Maybe I am still in denial.  My God tells me that we are not promised tomorrow.  He could return any day at any time. So what's 10 years? 

Not a lot of time to continue to spread the message He wants me to spread.  I guess it's not about me and what I will accomplish in this world.  It's not about the children I will raise and what they will accomplish.  It truly is about spreading the Good Word of Jesus Christ. 

I don't know what His goals are for me.  But I know as I continue my walk, that my goals will be in line with Him and His desires. 

My goals are to graduate with Honors from USC.  To raise Charlie and Jake with a sound foundation of who our God is and who his son Jesus Christ is to us.  To get our finances in order so that my family has no financial worries when I am gone.  I will follow Dave Ramsey's advise and work like a gazelle to live like no one else so that we can live and give like no one else. 

I have messed up my entire life.  Ruined my career.  Destroyed my finances through poor financial decisions that have affected my family and my marriage.  I am determined to set that right before I go.  I may have made many mistakes for the last 38, but the next 10 I will repair the finances and create financial freedom for my family to be able to give away the money God has given to us. 

I have been forgiven for my sins.  I have forgiven others who have sinned against me.  If God takes me tomorrow I will regret two things.  Not finishing the work God has asked me to do and not completing financial freedom. 

This disease came out of no where.  Or did I ignore the signs and warnings???  I feel healthier than ever at times.  Down to my academy weight.  Then this Frozen Shoulder thing comes up out of no where.  Man, what is He trying to tell me?  Slow down? Quit LE?  I don't know.  But I do know 10 years is not enough time. 

But if I truly believe in eternity, and I do, I have nothing to fear.  I will have none of these worries in Heaven.  I'm not too worried about only having 10 years.  Doctors get it wrong all the time.  I will follow God unto my last days.  I hope I serve Him and do everything he needs and asks of me before I go. 

God is good.  All the time...

Mattie